unconditional love.

this past week, sitting across from j at a restaurant we've been to so many times, i realized just how lucky i am. most of the people i've met in this world are conditional - only coming around when the 'conditions' are 'favorable.' it's very rare to find a friend that will stand the test of time no matter what the tides bring in. i have this with my husband. he's right there with me - and has been through very good & very hard times. j - thank you for being you - i'm blessed to know you, to love you & to be loved by you.

i've decided pregnancy is a tricky beast. just when i think i'm handling it pretty well, something new comes along & throws me off course. just last night i spent most of the evening convinced i was having a heart attack - numbness & tingling down my left arm, tightness in my chest, aches in my shoulders & back. trying not to alarm j - aka 'the pregnancy police' - i didn't voice much of my fear. (he was already thinking we needed to head for the er.) i tried to play it off as 'heartburn of a new kind' or 'carpel tunnel syndrome gone wild.' all the while thinking 'what if?' i can't imagine not being able to meet this little guy inside of me that i've come to love beyond words. i dream of holding him & looking into his eyes - wishing him all kinds of happiness & praying that the world is good to him. i have to meet my son.

so, after cool wash cloths, magic massage by j, a heating pad, and many prayers, i finally decide it might not be as serious as i had thought & finally fell asleep despite the aches & pains. and jett - never missing a beat - was sure to do his routine exercise regimen, waking me at 2am & then again at 4am, 'running' in my belly for a good 30 minutes each session. he's going to be one fit boy! (that's what i get for marrying j. the boy does not rest.) :)

today i'm back to normal - having 'survived' one more weird pregnancy 'glitch' in the system. j is more tired than normal, not getting much sleep because of his pregnant wife. still he stays- doing what he can to make this journey more tolerable. uncondition support. unconditional love.